Ask an Expert : Self-Improvement: The Problem with Self-Esteem
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By: John Milton Fogg
 
Date Submitted: 2008-08-07 09:59:17 - Article Views: 20144
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It's been said often and in many different ways that it's not what happens to us that matters most. It's how we react or respond to what happens. "There is nothing either good or bad," Shakespeare had Hamlet say, "but thinking makes it so." And there's probably no greater area in our lives where this is so apparent and important-- especially when dealing with self-esteem-- as what are called "problems."
Although there are math problems and word problems and chess problems and rock climbing problems that people approach as entertainment and challenging fun, there is an almost universal truth; for most of us, problems are bad. Even the dictionary says so:
A problem is a situation, matter, or person that presents perplexity or difficulty: urban problems such as traffic congestion and smog; the philosophical problem of evil. Problems are difficult to deal with or control: a problem child; problem customers.
Most dictionaries even ask us to "See note at dilemma," and there's nothing very good about "the equally unfavorable or mutually exclusive proposition" of a dilemma. Nor is there any encouragement from looking at the most common synonyms for problem: annoyance, complication, difficulty, disruption, disturbance, drawback, headache, hindrance. . . the list of "bads" goes on.
A problem is an obstacle, something we must solve in order to achieve a goal. It stands between us and our desires, dreams and often what we think (or would like to think) we deserve. But then there's this bit from Richard Bach's Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah:
There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.
Seems Mr. Bach believes somewhat as I do about problems. I think that. . .
* You are an infinitely powerful spiritual being connected directly to God-- the Source of all creation, intelligence, abundance, health, wealth and joy.
* You are responsible for everything that happens in your life. It may not be "your fault. . ." You may not be "to blame. . ." And, YOU are responsible. (Who else could be?)
* You create problems, because you deeply desire to learn what it takes to solve them.
* You create problems, because of who you will become by working through them.
* You create problems, because in order to HAVE more and better. . . you need to DO more and better. . . and BE more and better.
* You create problems, because you are an infinitely powerful spiritual being connected directly to God-- the Source of all creation, intelligence, abundance, health, wealth and joy.
There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.
What your mind believes you will achieve-- always and in all ways.
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John Milton Fogg is an acclaimed writer, editor, speaker, coach and author of the million-selling book, "The Greatest Networker in the World." His free BeliefBusters Report shows you how to Build Self-Esteem, Stop Negative Thinking and Become Healthy, Wealthy and Happy at: http://BeliefBusters.com.
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belief  personal-development personal-growth self-improvement self-esteem self-help |
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